MAY 18

Dear Legs,

Legs is the first pseudonym I thought of for you. Do you like it? It’s subtle because everyone has legs and identifying because yours are the best. I’m writing this while watching the [****] game. When we were in school, I never watched the team, but now that I’m out I feel some sort of claim to it. I’m also writing this while procrastinating on some hideously mundane work. It empties my brain even as my inbox fills up.

My only fear in embarking on this public-letter project? That my bad habit learned from work—the double spaces after the period—will rear its ugly head. Embarrassing. (I’ve done it every sentence so far. Ah, how evil becomes banal.).

Anyway! I love you mucho.

Cheers,

Dwayne Johnson